Striving for Authenticity

Drinkin' and Prayer . . .

2006-07-17T08:15:00.000-07:00

I learned how to pray today . . .

This was a revelation for me, because ever since I began my discovery to understand and build a relationship with God, it has been as though I've been blindly pursuing something that I have no idea how to obtain (kinda like women, but that is a completely different blog) . . .

Hear me out on this one . . .

Two things . . .

First, I learned that prayer in its simplest form is void of all noise. If God is doing the listening while I'm doing the talking, we are in the wrong roles for this conversation. That's just it, a conversation. This conversation is about me being still, anxiously waiting for God, the creator of the universe to tell me everything He wants to tell me. It's not about the "thee and thou", it's so much more intimate than that. The first time I tried being still, time literally halted. In the darkness of my office, God met me in the stillness. Did he physically meet me, no, but in my mind I could see His feet. Sadly though, as beautiful of an image this was to me, I also saw him walking away as I exited the stillness. In some sense He walked away only when I was through with Him. I'm not saying that God leaves us, the Bible tells us otherwise. But, I wonder how amazing life would be if we never left the stillness, if our life was dedicated to constant and intimate communion with Him.

Second, I think it is my Westernization or something, but we are always taught that change is good. When I became a believer, I was supposed to change. Jesus had twelve disciples. They were fisherman before they knew Him, and they were fisherman after they knew Him. I think the problem is that we try to change who we are because that's what "Christians" do. I don't think that there is anything further from the truth. In the words of the famous theologian Popeye, "I am what I am". Christ did not tell us to change, but to submit. Just because I have emotion, I drink every now and then, and throw in the occasional swear word for good measure doesn't mean I love Jesus any less. The only change that I welcome is the molding of the Holy Spirit. So in that case, have a drink and enjoy God.

While you're at it . . . Be Still

Toilet Paper . . .

2006-07-17T08:12:00.000-07:00

So it was the night after we returned from our trip to Xfuge . . .

Taylor, the beautiful yet devious UF student, as well as two of my favorite girls Jerica and Lauren (yeah, I know having favorites in ministry is a negative. but screw it. everyone has em') were hanging out together. They called me a few times during the evening continually asking me where I was and what I was doing . . .

You will realize that the motive of this action is in serious question.

Being the loving person that I am (that's right ladies, I'm freakin' prince charming) I kept them updated attempting to be a good leader who's available to my flock (cheesy cliche' number 1). Upon arriving to my house to call it a night I passed another youth members house. The house, car, and basketball hoop was covered in 3 ply toilet paper.

Could it be that my mischievous three girls were up to some juvenile pranking !?! Of course not, and just to make sure I called them up to ask if they had toilet papered the previously mentioned property. Taylor informed me with a sympathetic and heart filled response that they were miles away watching movies.

Revelation 21:8 says what again . . . ( burn. burn. burn)

Thirty minutes after arriving home I came to my senses and realized that I had just told these three heathens that I was heading to bed while MY truck was in the drive way waiting to be vandalized (I'm pretty sure TP is a third degree felony). At this realization I ran outside in attempt to hide my truck in the backyard. As I walked out (after turning on the light) I looked to my left and saw my truck covered in 24 rolls of toilet paper, and to the right three shadows running away from the scene of the crime.

Why . . .

You know, a year ago, I would have been pretty pissed about this act of vandalism. This directly related to my relationship with God. I was cold and distant, I was too caught up in myself and it ended up affecting my relationship with these girls. Basically they didn't like me and I was a jerk. From the outside, I looked like a Christian, I played the part amazingly well. However, we are reminded in Luke, through the story of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector that God sees appearance as fleeting. Perception in not important. God looks for authenticity. As soon as I began to realize that I wasn't fooling anybody, I began to submit to God. I learned how love people simply to love them. Why !?! Because Christ loved people. So to something that would have offended me a year ago . . .

I say thanks for showing you genuinely care about me by tp'n my truck.

I love ya'll for it

Intro . . .

2006-07-15T13:23:00.000-07:00

For a while now I have debated on whether or not to subscribe to the "blog" phenomena. As a self proclaimed facebook addict I have decided to redirect my addiction to something that may be more beneficial. Though the ideas which constantly run through my brain are now fair game to the rest of the free world, my motivation is not external but internal. This blog and my life is about trying to comprehend that one man was selfless enough to take on the full burden and sin of society, while knowing full well that he would be rejected, hated, and misrepresented.

Am I a Christian . . .

If you are speaking of the cliche' group of individuals who turn Christ into a product, portraying him to be nothing more than a cure all, and use His name as a get out of hell free card . . . yes, at one time I was . . .

Today, however . . .

I am not a Christian, I am a follower of Christ. I am more than a play on words. I strive to love people irregardless of bias. My love is not based on motives. I want to love people because Christ loved people.

Am I there yet . . .

No. But this blog is my journey into understanding the true Christ . . .